Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
