I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
