I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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