I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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