I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
