First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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