After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
