marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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