So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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