How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
