Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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