so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
