You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
