people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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