Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
