I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
