dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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