well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
