wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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