South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
