no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
