Where did you get a picture of my penis
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
