I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Randomize
