i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
