so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
