It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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