That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
