You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize
