she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
