i jhust puked up my retainher.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
