Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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