Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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