Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
