I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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