Please, let me fuck your mom
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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