she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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