He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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