all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
