...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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