Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
