you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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