Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
