yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
