So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
