We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
