i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
