Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
