Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
