Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
should my penis look like a turkey
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
