Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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