i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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