That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
